Flash Fiction
'Oh Shit' Thats how each of the 100 word flash fiction stories begin, but not all end the same.
Enjoy this exciting collection of Crime/Horror based Fiction with plenty of Murder, Mystery and Mayhem as each tale twists, turns and unfolds
TRUST
Where had the trust gone? In the beginning he couldn’t get enough of her but, after many years of marriage, things had deteriorated somewhat. Greg suspected Abby was having an affair, someone at the office? There were many unplanned, last minute outings, should he confront her or let the situation continue? Greg decided to set a trap, he sent flowers to her office under a different name. Over dinner that night not a word was mentioned by Abby. Greg was now totally convinced, it was time to confront her. ‘We’re Pregnant’ said Abby ‘I was waiting for the right moment’
'OLD SPARKY'
'Oh Shit’, were the last words muttered before Chad Connor’s life was zapped out of him by ‘Old Sparky’ the Electric chair. His identical twin brother Joe smirking from behind the viewing glass at Sing Sing Correctional Facility. You see Joe had convinced Chad to take the blame for his latest crime although, it wasn’t just a traffic incident. Joe had actually been convicted of murder and sentenced to death but escaped the holding cell. When the Police turned up to arrest Joe, Chad went quietly with them. Little did he know his life was about to become very shocking!
'MURPHY'S LAW'
‘Oh Shit’ were the exact words uttered by Kate Murphy as she sifted through her wardrobe. She had been a runway model for over ten years and the entire time had been stealing garments from the top fashion houses. Prada, Dior, Gucci, Burberry, Tom Ford, Louis Vuitton, Dolce & Gabbana just to name a few. She should have listened to her mother, ‘dishonesty gets you nowhere’ her mother used to say. It seems that whilst Kate was stocking her wardrobe with fashion, the moth larvae was eating its way through the smorgasbord of expensive clothing. A case of Murphy’s Law?
'BLACK GOLD'
‘Oh Shit’ were the very last words heard from Baxter Conksford Jnr. Even though he had a fancy name, he was 2nd generation coal miner and salt of the earth. He spent 12 hour days on his knees in a 3 foot seam digging black gold. Baxter didn’t get chance to dress-up often but this day he had scrubbed up and headed down the high Street to buy a ring to propose. It’s a shame really that he didn’t notice the open man hole cover on the sidewalk. A coal miner falling down a hole in the ground? How ironic.
'NO EXCUSE'
'Oh Shit’ cried Emma as she came into the kitchen. Her husband Will would do anything to avoid washing the dishes. Today he’d gone above and beyond by leaving the tap running which made the sink overflow and drown their lovely parquet floor in soap suds and hot water.
‘Where the hell are you Will?’ cried Emma.
She headed down the hall towards the laundry, nothing. She became frantic with a sense of urgency and panic. She approached the bathroom where she found her husband Will on the floor face down, it was a heart attack but still no excuse!
'TASTES GOOD'
‘Oh Shit’ said the home nurse as Mr Greenspan tucked into a freshly opened can of Pedigree dog food.
‘What the hell are you eating?’ said the nurse
‘I am eating my dinner’ said Mr Greenspan
‘You do know its dog food, don’t you?’
‘Rubbish’ said Greenspan
[Nurse] ‘Why would you eat dog food?’
‘About 10 years ago my Son began caring for me, he is an accountant and very good with money’ Said Greenspan
‘He may be good with money but feeding his own father Dog Food?’
‘Ah you see, you’ve missed one vital thing’ said Greenspan
‘I’m Blind’
'CREAM'
'Oh Shit’ thought Callum Baxter as he stared at his dead Grandfather. Emotions flooded his mind. He had just become a billionaire being the only Grandson but, he had also become a murder suspect. A mug and newspaper lay on the floor next to the deceased. After the Forensics’ came back it was determined the cream in the coffee was laced with Botulinum, great for wrinkles but not so great when ingested. That night all was revealed on the BBC News at Six. “Poisons discovered in Supermarket Cream” Seems the old billionaire was aware but wouldn’t waste the £1.78 cream
'CATCH 22'
‘Oh Shit’ ‘it’s Amatoxin’, said the Coroner… ‘It destroys your liver and kidneys over several days, the pain is excruciating, Eventually you slip into a coma and expire”. There was something the Police and Coroner had an issue with though. Why would a fruit shop owner eat ‘Death Cap’ Mushrooms? Surely Vinnie Agostino would have known? Turns out they were picked by his wife who fed them to her poor unsuspecting husband.Stella was an Optometrist and didn’t know her mushroom varieties and Vinnie was a Fruiterer who in hindsight should have asked his wife for new glasses, Catch 22?
'INSTANT JUSTICE'
'Oh Shit’…“Oh god please no” The eighteen-wheeler had torn the small hatchback in half, the pungent odour of fuel, twisted pieces of metal strewn across the road. There was no way anyone had survived this carnage. Sergeant Bill Ryan had just arrived at the crash scene when he recognised the plates on the hatchback.
His Daughter had gone out with friends, his heart sank, something no Police officer should witness, his world changed in an instant. His phone rang over the sirens, it was his daughter, her car had been stolen an hour ago. A case of instant justice?
'THE DECISION'
“Oh Shit, I can’t believe your decision” said Ian. They’d been mates for years had Ian and Phil. They supported the same football team, went to the same school, wore similar clothes, even had an alternative taste in music. So why was this decision different to the previous ones? This life changing decision that others had made before them and many would make long after they were gone. “I’m not sure we can be mates anymore, this is really bloody serious” Said Ian. Phil didn’t understand the fuss. You are wondering what the question was? The Beatles or Rolling Stones?
'CHEF'
‘Oh Shit’ cried the waitress. Mr Saki crashed to the floor of the restaurant like he’d been hit by a snipers bullet from long range but, there were no visible signs of blood? Surely It wasn’t possible that Japan’s top crime figure had been taken out so easily? Saki had only arrived 20 minutes earlier. A Doctor moved swiftly to check his pulse, nothing. Why use a sniper when you can use a Chef as your Assassin? The ‘Fugu’ delicacy had been consumed by Saki for lunch. Tetrodotoxin poisoning from the Puffer Fish was the undoing of Mr Saki. Shame
'TUSKER'
'Oh Shit’ The majestic African Elephant slowly lost its balance and fell to the ground. ‘Poachers’ yelled Cooper Simms. They were fighting a losing battle, 95 Elephants lost every day to this evil ivory trade. As he made his way to assist the giant female ‘tusker’ he heard a spine tingling, bone crunching cry ahead. Cooper peered through the clearing of trees, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The poacher, rifle still in hand, skewered like a kebab by the 1.5m long Ivory tusk of a very angry Bull Elephant. You mess with the Bull, you get the horn.
'ROSES & CUPCAKES'
‘'Oh Shit’ said the neighbour, ‘Not sweet Mrs Jones at No.9?’ Mrs Jones was an avid Cook and Gardener, pruning roses, sculpting English Box and baking cakes, she’d had a very sad life though. Five husbands, all deceased. Although, her garden kept her busy. She had won best garden for the past 25yrs. When asked about fertiliser she would always reply ‘I make it myself’ and she sure did. When the Police Forensic Team turned up they found evidence of her past five husbands in a meat grinder in the shed. Slowly poisoned with fertiliser only to become human fertiliser!
'MAX'
'Oh Shit’ cried Pete, He knew what a bastard Billy had been to the homeless dogs. Picked up off the streets, the unwanted dogs were like trash to Billy. He’d smack them around, starve and abuse them. That was until ‘Max’ arrived. Max was a very clever, almost sneaky, Jack Russell, He’d escaped from a crate at the local airport and was being held for 24hrs until his owner arrived. As Billy entered the compound Max tripped him up, Billy stuck himself with a tranquiliser dart, the 30 homeless dogs feasted on Billy, only his bones remained, Pete just smiled.
'UNLUCKY'
‘Oh Shit’ screamed Bo Bartlett as the Great White Shark tore through his 6ft thruster surfboard. He turned and swam faster than he’d ever done, knowing he only had seconds to get away before the 3.6m monster returned, its mouth was big enough to swallow him whole. He made it to the rocks and climbed up in haste, his heart was pounding, a lucky escape. Bo found a small rock pool and climbed in to calm himself. It was about 20 minutes before respiratory depression and paralysis set in, he’d unknowingly sat on a Blue Ring Octopus. Small but deadly.
'CHA-CHA'
‘Oh Shit’ screamed Rick O’Shay’s girlfriend Katie, “You’ve won the giant Panda for me”. They were at the local fairground shooting gallery, Clumsy old Rick had taken a shot at the round metal target, the lead pellet missed the target, bounced off the steel framework and hit the Cha-Cha ride controller in the head. He slumped forward hitting the emergency brake. The sudden jolt sending Maggie Smith’s handbag sailing through the air and that’s when a stray coin from the bag hit the bullseye. All in a split second. Rick O’Shay had won his girlfriend a prize with a Ricochet!
'FLU'
‘Oh Shit’ said Maggie who'd contracted another dose of the dreaded Flu. It began attacking her lungs, nose and throat, within hours came the muscle pain, fever and headache. If you told Maggie that she picked this up whilst at her Doctors surgery last week she wouldn’t believe you, but that is exactly what happened! Dr. Warby purposely left old magazines in his waiting room, the ones that had at least three seasons worth of contaminated droplets and airborne disease coating their covers. So, when you go to the doctors next, don’t touch anything and keep your hands to yourself!
'BIKE SHARING'
'Oh Shit’ said Police Superintendent Harry Caine as he observed what was left of Jimmy White. He was a right little toerag who’d been dealing drugs on the streets of London for years. He’d come up with an ingenious way of getting around town without raising alarm. Bike sharing. Yes you heard right, Jimmy would use the bright yellow bike’s all over town to transport his dope. Just so happens that this day he chose a bike that was planted by a terrorist with the intent of blowing up a crowded street mall. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer fellow!
VALENTINES DAY
'Oh Shit, I’m back in the game’ said Rob. Many late nights searching the dating site ‘Blind-Lover.com’ had paid off. Amy was 30, Rob 43. They’d been messaging for a few weeks. She was a real catch. Rob got to the restaurant first and was waiting patiently in the corner looking like a kid at Christmas when Dianne, his wife of 21 years walked in and sat down. ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’, said Dianne. Rob tried to explain he was waiting for a work colleague when Dianne placed the printed conversations on the table. ‘Explain this Asshole, I am Amy !’
DEMENTIA
‘Oh Shit’ She’s Dead said Herb. Nancy was the love of his life but dementia had slowly strangled her thoughts. They’d lived a full life together, married over 60 years, had raised 5 beautiful kids. It was breaking his heart to watch Nancy’s demise. So he killed her, he knew it’s what she would have wanted. They’d discussed it before. A tear ran down Herb’s face, He loved and adored this woman. He placed the tablets in his mouth and swallowed, ready to join Nancy, he closed his eyes… and woke to find his beautiful Nancy alive. Just a Nightmare!
DESERT EAGLE .50
'Oh Shit’ Said the School Security Guard, ‘We have a Shooter’. They moved from one Classroom to the next, each foot crossing in a slightly crouched position. They eyed the target, a 16 year old loner. He was holding a Desert Eagle .50 hand gun, the daylight reflected off the polished surface as he made his way down the central hallway of C Block. A shot rang out, it came from a Sniper positioned on the rooftop across the road. The Gunman was dead, laid next to him was the Desert Eagle .50 with replica written on the side.
FORMULA ONE
Up and coming Formula One driver Jack Sprite worked as many jobs possible to fund his motor racing addiction, hooked on a different kind of speed to most youths his age. His parents were proud, but weary of the dangers. ‘you’ll get killed racing around like that’ his sister Tess would say. Jack was at Silverstone for the 1993 British F1 Grands Prix. As the cars accelerated around ‘Abbey’ at over 250km/h there was a collision, the lead car catapulted over the wire fence and into the Hot Dog stand, Jack was killed instantly serving up a ‘Senna with Cheese’
ONE (Sample)
Jack uncovered the E-Type Jag, its seamless British Racing Green paint reflected like a dark untouched pond. He slid into the cream leather seats and took a deep breath, the smell of leather was intoxicating. Sitting in them was like being cocooned inside a giant baseball mitt, he fired up the V12 masterpiece and reversed the car out into the rear lane. No sign of ‘Phil the Blade’ although there was a trail of blood heading in the opposite direction.
BLACK CAB MURDER (sample of upcoming release)
The machete pierced its way through the back of the driver’s seat, skewering Albert James like a popsicle. Warm blood trickled down the front of his check shirt as panic set in. Albert placed his right hand across his rib cage, the pain was excruciating. He felt the tip of the machete as he began to lose consciousness, thoughts of his family flashed through his fading mind.
He felt a short sharp pain above his left eye as he was shot from behind at point blank range with a silenced pistol. The bullet fragmented causing major head trauma and immediate haemorrhage. The bullet continued through the windscreen, the Black London cab came to a halt as Alberts life slowly came to an end.
WAR DANCE
It was a beautiful morning on Queensland’s Gold Coast when Sgt Troy Waddell spotted an erratic driver struggling to negotiate the roundabout ahead. He immediately hit the lights and sirens inside his Highway Patrol car and began to chase the blue Toyota Camry. The car pulled up, out jumps a very angry Mr Patel who began the conversation with threats towards the Sargeant who was calm and pleasant under the circumstances.
The driver was breath tested and cleared but due to his nastiness, Sgt Waddell searched the car and gave him a ticket for two bald tyres. Mt Patel tore the ticket up, threw its pieces into the Policeman’s face and said ‘Prove it Asshole’.
The court hearing date was a few months after the incident. It didn’t take Judge Graham too long to convict Mr Patel after viewing the crystal clear high definition video recording. ‘Mr Patel, You have acted like a petulant teenager, spewing vile at this decorated Police Sargeant, Your performance was akin to an Indian Chief doing a war dance’. Mr Patel screamed out 'Wrong type of Indian!'
Judge Graham continued: 'The original fine of $360 stands, plus $600 for disobeying an officer of the law and a further $480 for failing to pay a fine, once I add court costs plus $600 for hollering obscenities at me today, that little dance has cost you $2500. The next time we meet I will be sending you for a free holiday courtesy of the Australian Government, Good day Sir’.
COMPETITIVE COUPLE
She was competitive, very competitive in every aspect of their lives. Each and every day Cathy would remind Brad he hadn’t walked enough steps that day. They’d just got into bed, it was after 8.30pm.
‘I’ve done 22,518 steps today, how many have you done?’
‘9,872’ Said Brad, looking at his black Fitbit.
‘Are you serious? why don’t you just get up and do the few hundred steps to get to 10,000?’ Cathy remarked with a sarcastic look.
‘But what is the significance of 10,000 Cat?’ he said
‘Doesn’t it drive you crazy that you didn’t reach 10,000 steps though?’
‘Nope’ Said Brad, not being bothered in the slightest by round numbers.
It gave him an idea, a sneaky but fantastic idea. You see Brad had a wicked sense of humour, he just loved to prank his wife and this would be one of his finest.
Monday morning came and like clockwork Cathy got into the shower at 6.25am, Brad put his little plan into practice. He showered and went to work. The end of the day approached and Cathy asked the question over the dinner table.
‘How many steps today Brad?’
‘Actually Cat, I’ve had meetings all day, I couldn’t get out of the office at all so I’ve only managed 1,855 steps’
‘Wow, that’s a really crappy effort’ said Cathy with a competitive wink.
After dinner they made their way upstairs to shower, Cathy removed her Fitbit and placed it on the bedside table in the charger. Brad made his way across the room, He quickly unclipped the Fitbit and swapped them back.
Knowing if he mentioned it straight away, Cathy would don her sports gear and walk the streets until midnight to achieve her daily goal, Brad kept quiet until breakfast the following day when he revealed his cunning plan. You see, there is more than one way to skin a Cat.
ROAD RAGE
The Black BMW swerved through the traffic like it was in a car chase from a movie scene. The crazy driver, 21yr old Tim Sears was in some kind of hurry. As he navigated a right turn he almost wiped out a businesswoman crossing the road. He screamed out, another second earlier and she would have been run over. Tim pulled up, grabbed his bag and sprinted into the building for his 9am appointment. With sweat streaming down his face he walked in and sat in front of the Job interviewer, he recognised her face immediately. Was it worth apologising?
MEET THE PARENTS
Mark Smith stood on the front porch trembling. You would have thought he was in line for the electric chair, not meeting Linda’s parents for the first time. The door opened, he was greeted with a smile by Linda and her mother. They made their way to the dining room and sat down. Linda’s younger brother came in and sat opposite. Linda’s Dad walked in, all 6”3’ of him.
‘Good Evening Mr Brown’ said Linda’s Dad
‘It’s SMITH Dad, Mark Smith’ Said Linda
‘Interesting, It was Chris Brown this afternoon when I cautioned him at the mall’ Said Officer Hughes.
APPLE CINNAMON PIE
Betty Hughes loved to cook Apple Pie, She would place the freshly baked pie on her window sill, the warm Apple and Cinnamon aroma would waft through her entire house and out the window down the street. She cooked her Pie’s every Saturday morning, the previous week she had fallen asleep after placing it on the window sill. When she woke the pie was gone. This week she added some special extra’s into the pie just for the kid next door. Betty knew the laxatives had worked a treat because the neighbours toilet light was on and off all night!
SPERM DONOR
It was just after 2pm when Douglas Adams took another specimen jar to match the egg and sperm. The fertilised egg would be transferred to the woman’s uterus just a few days later. He knew his retirement was approaching fast and what better way to launch his writing career than a memoir on how he fathered over 1500 children in his 30 years at the IVF clinic. What he wasn’t expecting was a class action from over 1000 women. Today he holds the world record for the highest amount of child support arrears owing. A staggering £750,000 per calendar month.
UNSAVOURY THEFT
Elderly couple Sid and Edith had been married for over 60 years. Still living in their own home and very active, Sid’s hobby was high tech gadgets. This was how he caught their cleaner stealing cash from the mattress where Sid and Edith had stored it for many years. Only one lot had been stolen before Sid realised and fixed the issue overnight. He kept tabs on the cleaner each day by watching the CCTV. After many months of theft from the cleaner Sid eventually had to let her go, WHY? He couldn’t keep up the colour photocopying any longer!
MINUTE DETAIL
Debbie had been married to Sam for 12 years. For the past 4 years she had been having an affair with one of the employee’s at their Trucking business. Sam had an idea something was going on after he’d noticed large sums of money missing from their joint bank account. Debbie had paid a professional hitman to kill her husband. The planning was impeccable, right down to the smallest minute detail. After Sam was shot dead walking into his office late one night a gun was placed in his hand. Debbie hadn’t told the hitman Sam was left handed though!
DRONE BOY
Billy Bowie was a clever kid for his age, he’d always dreamed of being a Fireman. For his ninth birthday he got a drone, not just any drone though. It had brushless motors, 4k video and a 2km range. Billy would sit in the bedroom window of his 5th floor Manhattan apartment and monitor Moore Street. He became the eyes and ears of Ladder 8 Fire Station. On his tenth birthday Billy was given the highest award for a civilian when he saved the residents of a burning building, pretty cool for a kid in a wheelchair with no legs!
ROCKERS
They were a young couple in love, married two years and pregnant, it was a Friday night, Summer 1967. Clad in Black leather, goggles, helmets, gloves and boots. They hopped on their Triumph and rode towards the coast. The feeling of freedom ran through their veins as the crisp summer air whistled past. They pulled up to Blackpool pier, the lights glowed across the beach, they ate Chips and laughed. Then her iPhone rang, it was their 50yr old son, ‘Sorry to interrupt date night Mum’ he said. They were now in their 70’s but loved to relive their youth.
Gastronomic
​
I gazed intently as he lifted the food to his mouth, he chewed slowly, I can only assume this was to make the taste last longer? The look of pleasure on his face as he alternated between the poached eggs, bacon and buttery toast was something I’d never witnessed before. Every few mouthfuls he would take a sip of his cup of Tea. He put the finishing touches on his meal with a custard tart. At 7.35am he was marched to the gallows at Strangeways Prison, Manchester, the last man to be hanged in Great Britain. Thursday 13th August 1964.
'RED SALIVA'
'Oh Shit’ The sound of crunching was sickening, his saliva had turned bright red. In the dark no one could see but the sound was terrifying. It came from all directions, occasionally a flicker of light and then back to darkness. A Slurping could be heard coming from behind. Mike Bowie turned his head to catch a glimpse of the terror but the lights went out again. Where was it coming from and what was making that shrieking sound? The movie ended, Mike finished his Jaffa’s and sat up slowly. The sound coming from behind was popcorn, salty, buttery popcorn.
CLEAN-UP
Stephen made his way home from a tiring day at work, almost two hours on the train from Sydney just about finished him. As he walked south from the Train station he eyed all the objects littering the kerbside for Council clean-up week. Old bookcases, fans, heaters and the odd Television. Just as he rounded the final turn towards his street he spotted a beautiful old steel framed racing bike, looked circa 1980’s, he needed a bicycle so he picked it up and rode it home. He never found out that he’d actually stolen the bike of a visiting friend.
THE BEAUTY
She looked across the train and smiled, her teeth were whiter than the Egyptian bed sheets Edward had just abandoned, her skin looked smoother than silk. It was Wednesday, peak hour, and the third day in a row he’d sat in this seat smiling at this unknown beauty. She winked and waved. Should he ask her out for lunch, maybe a coffee at first. She definitely went to the gym, she was reading 50 Shades. As she embarked from the train he made his move. He was devastated when she told him it was her friend she was smiling at.
NINETY-FIVE METRES
He looked up into the air, with eyes like a hawk he caught the bomb, he wasted no time sprinting ahead towards the opposition, the look on his face a cross between determination and fury, he approached the first enemy and hit him hard, the sweat exploding from his face like an eruption of soda water, 50 metres to the target. Now screaming like a madman he gained pace and slammed into the next unsuspecting victim, 20 metres to go, he was close to the target, he took out two more attackers before diving over the line for a Try!
POINT-BLANK
If he showed up at your door, chances are, you did something to warrant his visit, what he did wasn’t moral but as a hitman, it was his living. He snuck into buildings and perched himself in the clouds, with his high powered rifle the target was dead before they even knew what hit them. Then there were the point-blank hits, the unsuspecting targets opening their front doors and BOOM. The challenging part of Martin’s role was getting rid of the bodies. His brother Mike also worked in the family business, he ran a Butcher Shop, with prize-winning Sausages!
Seat 10a
Sophie was having a bad day… Late for her flight after an altercation in the carpark. Then at the check-in counter her bag was overweight by two kilo’s, So she had to pay the excess… She was thinking as she made her way to the Aircraft for boarding, things always happen in three’s and wondered what number three would be?, then it happened, a guy was sitting in her window seat and refused to move, without fuss Sophie walked over to the air hostess and simply said ‘The man in seat 10a says he has a bomb’ She got 10a!
The Assignation
Nigel had returned from another assignation with his mistress Chloé, three events had just taken place, two of which I will share with you. Nigel had just been unfaithful to his wife of 18 years, the property tycoon had become infatuated with his 20 something PA at the office only a few months back. Chloé read all of his mail, even the recent one with his blood test results revealing he had stage four cancer, Chloé was there for Nigel, she took care of everything for him, even went to the trouble of buying, piercing and then applying his condoms.